I took my Mormon friends out to lunch at my favorite Mexican restaurant today.
Me: Sorry about inviting you to coffee yesterday. That was pretty funny.
Elder M: That was funny.
Me: I don't drink coffee, either. Are you allowed to drink decaf?
Elder M: No. It's not because of the caffeine, it's the tanic acid. Tea also has tanic acid.
Me: You can't drink tea, either?
Elder M: No.
Me: Can you drink soda?
Elder M: There's a story that someone went fishing with the prophet and asked him if he was allowed to drink a Pepsi and the prophet said, "You may drink it, but God prefers that you not."
Me: So it's on your own conscience?
Elder M: Right. But we know that there's something in soda that causes damage to your bones.
Me: So this is all a health thing?
Elder M: Yes. We are supposed to take care of our bodies and be as healthy as possible.
Me: Elder J, how's that chimichanga?
Elder J: It's good.